Most people are under the impression - which turns out to be a false one as I found out today - that it's all about the oil and the corporate cosying together with certain well known companies who have links to certain very high profile members of the Administration.
I should just add here that if you don't know who I'm talking about here then either you are up way too late after your bedtime (go to bed - cartoons come on again in just a few hours after you finish your chocolate cereal) or you work in the Intelligence industry.
Turns out they have other plans. I was just having a stroll around Sheffield looking for a quiet place to stop and have a quiet smoke - the sort of smoke you couldn't have in public a long time before the most recent ban was introduced - and decided to find a quiet spot in Norfolk Heritage Park.
It would be fair to say I was caught a bit by surprise to find the local Yeomanry camped out there at the time - archery practice is normally the second Sunday of every month - and it looked like they had brought some friends and planned on staying around for a while!
This wasn't really anything that I would immediately worry too much about. Smoke enough and this sort of thing doesn't come as too much of a surprise and usually goes away after you splash a bit of water over yourself, so I just carried on down the side of the park and found a bit of peace and quiet to live up to my reputation, and all seemed well with the world again.
At least it did until I spotted the bloomin' well Cavalry thundering past me quicker than - well, in all honesty they were struggling to overtake an old dear who was out on her electric motability scooter to pick up some groceries, but you get what I mean. What on earth was in that joint, and what the heck had it done to my head?
Not only was I seeing horses galloping (OK - slowly trotting…) past me but all the bangs and explosions I was hearing were starting to get a bit on my nerves as well. Didn’t take long for me to find the rather worrying reason for the bangs in explosions in my head to become obvious. Simple enough explanation was that they were in fact real life bangs and explosions!
Here was the frankly bloomin’ well scary scene that confronted me round the corner when I followed the cavalry, having managed to somehow keep moving slowly enough to make sure I managed to stay behing them.
Yup - they only went and decided not only to get a bit of revenge on the UK - or more specifically Sheffield - for our own past little adventures overseas, but they also had to go and take the piss by having a rerun of their own bloody well Civil War as well.
By the way, if you still don’t believe me about the bangs and explosions then here are a couple of videos I happened to get of the battle scenes. Don’t worry about the fact there is some bloke speaking over it - it’s the US we’re talking about here and Fox viewers need to be told what is happening in detail - even when they are watching it for themselves - before they understand what is going on and can go out and tell the entire world that was exactly how it all happened…..
I had to stop filming when an artillery shell landed on me unfortunately, which left me scattered about the park in lots of little pieces for a while, but in the name of photo journalism I bravely managed to put myself together again and, by this time, it was pretty clear the Unionists were in charge, so I crept around their camp and managed to get some shots of how things were set up there.
You’ll notice here that the French are trying to get back into their good books again - can’t trust them buggers as far as you can throw them!
That said, I do still hold out a bit of hope as fighting on so many fronts combined with a few too many Mickey D joints on that side of the pond seems to have had a small impact on the standard of physical shape they will set the recruitment bar at:
It also looks like they have *Ahem* “temporarily been unable to account for the wehreabouts” of so much equipment in other places that they’ve had to dig fairly deep in the back of the Armourey to find something to use until they find the decent stuff again!
Their camp doesn’t look like it has the best of hygiene conditions either. In fact, the whole thing looks a bit 1800’s to me!
The hygiene thing is a stroke of luck so rally the troops round and we should be able to take the park back soon enough once they get too weak to put up any sort of real fight up. And weaken they will. In a good old fashioned display of planning ahead, the mighty US have only gon and set up a massive old fashioned, unhygienic camp just a little bit away from the very well known Cholera monument.
We can just sit back and wait for the inevitable to happen.
Hope you’ve enjoyed my first ever blog. If you haven’t, well all I can say is that I was planning on getting round to doing one at some stage anyway so the only person who’s wasted any time on it is you for reading this far.
The Scottish Stoner
